If you’re just joining us…

This is an abridged form of a note I sent to some close friends and family.

Hi, I’m Ryan.

On May 13, 2022, I was diagnosed with cancer. It’s a type of cancer called “mantle cell lymphoma”, which is in a class of cancers called “non-Hodgkin lymphoma” (aka NHL, one of the most common types of cancers). Mantle cell is a particularly rare type of NHL, accounting for about 3-7% of cases.

My prognosis is really unknown at this point. Treatments for MCL are far more mature than they were 10 years ago. But this cancer has an unfortunate tendency to relapse after remission — in other words, there is a good chance it will come back at some point in the future. In typical cases now (treat the word “typical” very cautiously), patients are seeing long remissions (7-10 years) before the cancer comes back, at which point they generally start on another treatment. Some survivors have been in remission for 20+ years and are still chugging along; for others, their remissions have been shorter. Regardless, ALL outcomes are all improving every year

I’ve obviously been going through (and will go through) all the emotions. Sometimes I feel incredulous… this was the last thing I ever could have expected. Sometimes I feel sad… I love my life and the people in it and I’d hate for that to change. Sometimes I feel scared, especially when I consider the potential effects of treatment. Sometimes I feel guilty especially thinking of those closest to me.

For the most part, I feel confident and ready for whatever’s coming (though I wish it would get here faster). I feel lucky that I am a very spontaneous and adaptable kind of human. When shit happens, I generally frame it as yet another adventure to learn from. Also, age and fitness are two of the biggest indicators of the success of MCL treatment — I am 25 years younger than the average MCL patient (wtf!) and am healthy otherwise. I know these things will all work in my favor, and I am supported by my wife, my friends, and my family who I am so grateful for right now.

I’m going to try to write during this process, hence this blog — partly as a healthy exercise for myself, partly to keep my community up-to-date, partly because maybe it’ll help someone else some day. Whether family, friend, fellow MCL patient, or Random Internet Person™, welcome. If want to follow my stream of consciousness, you can subscribe so you’ll get an email whenever I post anything.