Surprise

I’m afraid I have very little to share about 🦀cancer🦀 in this one — sorry, intrepid readers — but I did have to shout out to these handsome lads:

This past Wednesday, I flew back to Bethesda to start my next treatment cycle, to begin the routine yet again — fly across the country, go through a few tests, get a needle or four in my arms, absorb a couple days of infusions, chat with the nurses, say goodbye, fly home. Rinse and repeat.

I have been really lucky to have friends-of-the-family-now-becoming-friends in Bethesda open their home for me, so I have a place that feels like a home away from home and not just a sterile hotel. That has made a huge difference. But I admit the rest of the routine is just dragging on me. I love the NIH and the care I’m getting there, I honestly couldn’t ask for more—but I really just want to be home, and you know … not getting cancer treatments.

So it was under that gloomy cloud that I exited the secure area at Ronald Reagan International Airport (where even the jet fuel trickles down), feeling tired and dreading the 7am blood work the next morning, when suddenly out of nowhere a face appears and says, “Sir, come with me please”…

Some moments passed as my brain recalibrated.

And damn it if it wasn’t one of my best friends in the world, Viktor. It took me a few seconds to even put together that he was there to surprise me and spend the weekend there with me. I think I said some dumb stuff and gave him a hug and asked him what the hell he was doing there.

And then as we walked towards the exit, out of the corner of my eye I see someone looking at us, and damn it if it wasn’t one of my other best friends in the world, Jay. And then I was just a mess of confusion and surprise and gratitude.

These guys have seen me through some of the most important times in my life, and there they were, for yet another one. They decided they wanted to come out and visit me and hang during one of my treatments, and conspired with Esther for like a month and a half to make it happen without me having even the faintest clue. Unbelievable. It was such an awesome surprise. They’d rented an AirBNB near the NIH, and we just, you know…got to hang out, just like old times with the both of them. We ate good food, we had conversations both meaningful and inane, we did some DC sightseeing (photo above was from Great Falls Park), we watched dumb YouTube videos, we argued about esoteric code syntax philosophies. It was simultaneously a totally mundane long weekend and a totally fun and hilarious one.

And sure enough, it was exactly the cure for the gloomy cloud of the routine. Nice one, gents.

And this was just a few weeks after another great friend of mine threw open his Brooklyn door for me and we got to hang and commiserate in NYC for a few days. And in between then and now, I’ve had a lot of text and phone and Slack conversations, got a handmade beanie in the mail (see prior post about my Mr. Autumn Man persona), got to see one of my favorite bands with my wonderful (and clearly conspiratorial) wife, and probably a thousand other little moments I’m forgetting but have felt all the same.

I think when I start to feel sorry for myself, y’all just sense it and know how to show up. I feel so grateful for all of you friends and family that have supported me through this in your own ways, big and small. I cannot possibly express how much those gestures have meant to me.

OK, I guess I had more to share than I thought. 😄

My treatment is still going well, and even as the side effects have been getting progressively worse over time (some of the effects can be cumulative), they still are all manageable and are only disruptive for a few days out of the cycle. I still feel very lucky to feel, often, like a normal human. And more importantly, I’m now in Cycle 5 of 6 — my treatment is done in October!

Till next time. Hug your friends and family.